No Greeting Card To Give..
No Sweet Flowers To Send..
No Cute Graphics To Forward..
Just
A LOVING HEART
Saying
“HAPPY X’MAS”

In this X-mas,
In the daytime if sun shine so shall Ur expectations come true,
At night when moon comes out so shall U receive blesses,
then if rain fall so shall it going to carry all your problem away from U!
Happy Merry Christmas

I wish U Lovely X-mas
I wish U Favorable ”
I wish U Enjoyable ”
U shall not Lack in this X-mas
thy Lord shall provide to U!
Merry X-Mas.

Though you’re away from us now, we will still be celebrating a Merry Christmas with a thought of your presence. You’re such a kind of a sister for us. We really thank God for having you. More Blessings to you. We miss you sis.

May the miracle of Christmas fill your heart with warmth and love. Christmas is the time of giving and sharing. It is the time of loving and forgiving.
Merry Christmas to Everyone!

Be Happy all the being, let us embrace the peace that the holy lamb has brought to us. To you who have made my x-mass happy and joyful, lots of love, and to your mom also. God bless you so much. As we all celebrate, let us make sure that those around us also share our joy and love. Be there for needy persons and you will made a difference. Love you very much.

Wish all living creatures a Happy X-mas and a Happy New Year! By the way I would like us to share a warm fellowship in all places. No creature should be undermined in the name of the Father. Just as animals need peace of mind, poeple and also trees need peace of mind. This is why I say, all creatures are waiting upon the Lord for their salvation. May God bless u all creatures in the whole world. In Jesus Name we pray Amen.

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender asks him “did you know there is a drink named after you?” the grasshopper says “Why would you name a drink Jeff?”

What kind of bee gives milk? BooBEES!!

A girl asked me to come over the other day. She said nobody was home. I went over and sure enough, nobody was home!

Yo mamma so fat when she sits around the house she rlly sits around the house!

3 sisters. ann, jan & fanny all have big feet,
ann & jan go on a date,
1 of the boys says “jesus u have big feet
“ann replys “u should see our fannys theyre huge!
Q. Y? do women clse their Iyz durin sx?
A. dey cnt st& 2C a man av a gud tym.

A train is bout 2 crash!
A frantic virgin strips off and says can any1 make me feel like a woman b4 i die?
So a man takes off his clothes and says iron these!

If your right leg was thanksgiving and
Your left leg was Christmas
could I meet U between the holidays?

Press down please one more time ,ok more YES ahh ohh yes just there yeah baby harder, HARDER,this feels SO GOOD!mmm yeah baby now THAT’S TEXTUAL INTERCOURSE!!

I have liked many but loved very few.yet no-one has been as sweet as u.I’d stand and wait in the worlds longest queue.just for the pleasure of a moment with u.

Sex is like a maths test..Me plus u..subtract the clothes..add the bed..divide the legs and multiply the orgasms..

Sex is good sex is class whip me baby spank my ass.doggy style 69 lick me out make me smile if u want me in the sac lick ur lips and txt me back.

I thank God for the way he made you, distinct, special and
unique. You were not made from a common mold.
~ Erwin W. Lutzer

“Silence is the true friend that never betrays.”
~ Confucius

“A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.”
-Ingrid Bergman

“Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.”
-Saint-Exupery

Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
He heard it had great circulation…

What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
“Do you believe in people?”

Why do vampires need mouthwash?
They have bat breath…

What’s a vampire’s favorite fast food?
A guy with very high blood pressure…

What is a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument?
A trombone…

What do birds give out on Halloween night?
Tweets…

What is a ghoul’s favorite flavor?
Lemon-slime…

What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich…

“If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you’ve made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand.”
-Unknown

“You don’t marry someone you can live with – you marry the person who you cannot live without.”
-Unknown

Forget Me Not
forgettin you is hard to do
forgettin me is up to you
forget me not
forget me never
forget this message
but not the sender

“Love is not love that alters when it alteration finds.”
-Shakespeare

Pantynago
Anak: tay tumambling ako kanina sa skul
Tatay: anak dba sabi ko sau wag kang tatambling at makikita pantie mo
Anak: weeee… tay indi nila nakita!
Tatay: ???????
Anak: kc tay tinago ko sa bag ko

local client kaya mostly pinoy and callers, usually from visayas…
Cust: hiillo! wala kasi yung bell ng pon namin???…
CS: Hindi naman po ba nabagsak yung phone?
Cust: Hende naman…
CS: Kailan pa po ito nagsimula?
Cust: Ang alen?
CS: .Na hindi po nagri-ring yung phone?
Cust: Nagre-reng naman ah?!
CS: Di ba wala pong ring?
Cust: Hende! yong BELL!.. yong lestahan nong babayaran namin!!!…
CS: aahhh… yung BILL?!!!
(hende kase nagve-verefie mabote… tsk, tsk, tsk…)

Campus Humor 1
Pwera Ka
teacher: juan,give me example of puera….
juan: (tagalog version to kasi spanish yun)Lahat ng guro’t principal dito sa eskwelahang ito ay magaganda at mapopogi.
teacher: mahaba…very good juan but where is puera??
juan: puera ka!!!

Green Name
mr.marquez:bata,anong pangalan mo?
bata:sir,LUCKY T. TINIO!!!
mr.marquez:TANG INA MO GAGO KA!!!

“Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.”
~ Bible: Ecclesiastes

“One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.”
~ Euripides

“Silence is the true friend that never betrays.”
~ Confucius

I thank God for the way he made you, distinct, special and
unique. You were not made from a common mold.
~ Erwin W. Lutzer

A :*) man wz stumbling dwn d st W 1 Ft on d curb n 1 Ft n d gutter. A cop pulled ^ n z, “You r undR arrest 4 bn drunk”
dman askD, “Officer, r u sure I’m :*)?”
“Yup, I’m sure,” z d officer. “Lez go.”
breathn a sigh of relief, d :*) man z, “Thank god! I thort I wz crippled.”

Y? cnt blondes mke ice cubes?
coz dey alw 4gt d recipe

A bear n a buny r sittN ina 4st takN a sht. d bear leans ovr 2 d buny n sEz “Do u evr av d prob of sht stickn 2 yr fur”? d buny sEz “No”. So d bear nabs d buny n wipes hs (_!_).

w@ do men lk d most bout blo jobs?
d 10 mins of silence

hw DY unload a truk ful of X-( babies?
A pitchfork!

waz pink n hrd?
A :@) W a knfe

“Doctor, dr, I kip seein lil blk spots B4 my Iyz.”
“Have u seen a dr B4?”
“No, jst lil blk spots.”

Patient: I alw C spots B4 my Iyz.
Doc: Didn’t d nu glasses hlp?
Patient: Sure, now IC d spots mch clearer.

Q. Y? do women clse their Iyz durin sx?
A. dey cnt st& 2C a man av a gud tym.

A guy wlks ^ 2 a gal ina bar n asks,
“Do u wn2 play mgic?”
“What’s dat?” she replies.
he continues, ”
You cum b2 my plce, av sx, thN DSapER.”

Q: hw DY kip yr hubby frm readN yr Emsg?
A: Rename d mail folder 2 “instruction manuals”

Q: hws bn @ a singles bar diFrent frm goin to d circus?
A: @ d circus d clowns dnt tlk.

An insincere n }-) pal S mor 2B feared thN a wyld beast; a wyld beast may wound yr bod, bt an }-) pal wl wound yr mind.

A kiss S alovely trick dsignD by nature 2 stop spEch wen wrds Bcum superfluous.

“You dnt lov a wmn coz shes btifl, bt shes btifl coz u lov her.”

“Love tAkz off masks dat we fear we cnot liv w/o n knw we cnot liv witn.”

Many ppl will wlk in and out of ur life.but only tru friends will leave foot prints in ur heart. . . . .u left urs in mine

The recipe of friendship: 1 cup of sharing.2 cups of caring.3 cups of forgiveness & hugs. Mix all of these together to make friends 4ever.

when it hurts 2 look back & ur scared 2 look ahead, just look beside u & i will b there.

i cant txt u roses or fax u my heart.id email u kisses but wed stil b apart.i luv u 2 pieces n just wish ud c dat i care 4 u so much coz u mean da world 2 me.

Nothing is really work unless you would rather
be doing something else.
~ James Matthew Barrie

The difference between a job and a career is the
difference between forty and sixty hours a week.
~Robert Frost

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.
~ Confucius

More men are killed by overwork than the importance
of this world justifies.
~ Rudyard Kipling

Kriminal: Father, forgive me for I have sinned
Pari: Sabihin mo na lahat ang kasalanan mo anak.
Kriminal: Father, pinapatay ko ang lahat ng naniniwala sa diyos. Kayo po ba Father naniniwala doon?
Pari: Sino ‘yun?

*****

Lumubog ang barko
Pari: San Pedro! San Jose! San Juan!
Madre: Sta Maria! Sta Clara! Sta. Lucia!…
Intsik: Anu beyan! Lubok na nga bahko tawak tawak pa kayo ng pasahero!!

Police Chief: “Guards, may nakawalang preso sa selda! Bantayan ang mga exits!”
Later…..
Guard: “Sir, nakatakas ang preso.”
Police Chief: “ Paano nangyari iyun?”
Guard: “ Sir, sa entrance siya dumaan.”

*****

Pari: Sister, halika dito sa silid.
Sister: Diyos ko.
Pari: Isara mo ang pinto, patayin mo ang ilaw!
Sister: Diyos ko.
Pari: Tabi kas sakin.
Sister: Oh God!
Pari: Tingnan mo itong relo ko Glow in the dark!

Erap: Miss sosoli ko na tong video na ni hire ko
Miss: Bakit po sir?
Erap: Walang picture, walang sound, saying suspens thriller pamandin.
Miss: Wala hong problema papalitan po natin, anu hu ba ang pamagat?
Erap: Head cleaner….

Yeltsin: We are the first person in space.
Clinton: We are the first on the moon.
Erap: We will be the first to land on the sun.
USA: You can’t land on the sun, its too hot.
Erap: You know, were not stupid, we gonna go there at night.