——

ang
PISO
ay d
basta piso lang
bawat
piraso
nito
pinaghihirapan
katumbas 2
ng
dugo’t
pawis
ng ating
mga
magulang
kaya kapag
nagtxt
ako

magreply ka!

mahiya ka naman sa parents ko!!!

——

kagabi
nanaginip
ako

kumakain
daw ako
ng
cottoncandy
maraming
cottoncandy

maraming
cottoncandy

pagkagicng ko….

wala na
ko unan…

——

Dear Anak,
Naipadala na namin ‘yung P50,000 na pamabayad sa tuition mo sa second sem. Ipinagbili na ‘yung kalabaw natin. Ang mahal pala ng Counter Strike na kurso! Wala na rin tayong baboy, naipagbili na rin namin para sa sinasabi mong project, ‘ yung Nokia N75. Anak ang mahal naman ng project mo!
Kasama na sa ipinadala namin ‘yung baon mo para sa field trip sa Mall of Asia. Malayo ba ‘yun? Bakit ang mahal din? Isinanla na namin ‘yung palayan para mabili na ‘yung instrumento mong Video iPod. Napailaw n’yo na ba ‘yung pinagpupuyatan ninyong San Mig Lights? Sana mag-graduate ka na at nang makaraos tayo sa hirap at mabayaran ang mga utang at mabawi ang bukirin natin.
Love,
Tay & Nay

——-

“Pinapaikot mo lang ako. Nagsasawa na ako. Mabuti pang patayin mo na lang ako.”
-electric fan

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Nanay: Ang lakas mo kumain pero di ka mautusan. Ang kapal mo!
Anak: Kapag yung baboy natin malakas kumain, natutuwa ka. Sino ba talaga ang anak mo, ako o ung baboy? Umayos ka nay! Wag ganun!

********
Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 5.2

BF : May ibibigay akong gift sa iyo, pero hulaan mo muna!
GF: Sige, clue naman…
BF: Kailangan ito ng leeg mo.
GF: Kwintas?
BF: Hindi… PANGHILOD! SMILE!!

********
Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 5.3

AMO: inday, paalisin mo nga yung pulubi sa labas ng bahay.
(nilabas ni Inday)
INDAY: off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such
unabashed display of vagrant destitution!
PULUBI: oh! I’m so ashamed! Such a mansion of social climbing freaks!
(nakakuha na ng katapat si Inday!)
NOSEBLEED!!

********
Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 5.4

DOC: umubo ka!
PEDRO: ho! Ho! Ho!
DOC: ubo pa!
PEDRO: ho! Ho! Ho!
DOC: okay.
PEDRO: ano po ba sakit ko doc?
DOC: may ubo ka.

********
Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 5.5

MEKANIKO: sir, hindi ko po naayos preno ng kotse niyo.
CUSTOMER: ha?! Pano yan?
MEKANIKO: nilakasan ko na lang po ang inyong busina! Happy trip na lang po!

********
Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 5.6

Kung nag GAY LANGUAGE sana sila GMA at GARCI eh di walang SCAM!
GMA: hallow gracia!
GARCI: uy mother ever! Na chenilyn de kimberlyn ko na po yung mga chuva ek ek.
GMA: bonggacious! Eh yung mga chenes chenes, carry na ba?
GARCI: flatshoes! Winnie santos mama, wiz na wori eclavou na ever! Na chorva na!
GMA: ang tarushki! Maldita ka talaga vruha ka! Eh di windra na naman watashi?!
GARCI: anufi ate.
GMA: oshah ba.

********
Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 5.7

Divorced father: anak pag-uwi mo bigay mo sa nanay mo itong cheke at sabihin mo 18 yrs old ka na, huling cheke na makukuha niya for child support tapos tignan mo kung ano ang expression ng face niya.
Anak: mom, sabi ni dad bigay ko daw sayo itong cheke, last support na niya ito sakin kasi 18 na ako. Pagkatapos tignan ko daw expression ng face mo.
Mom: sa susunod na pagbisita mo sa kanya paki sabi salamat sa suporta kahit di mo siya tatay! Pagkatapos tignan mo expression ng face niya!

********
Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 5.8

BOY1: nakakakawa naman lola mo.
BOY2: bakit?
BOY1: nakasabay ko kasi magsimba nung isang araw, ubo ng ubo.
Pinagtitinginan nga ng tao.
BOY2: papansin lang yun!
BOY1: bakit?
BOY2: bago kasi blouse niya!

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dis msg is strictly 4 cute
& charming person only.. since u
accidntaly recivd dis msg
i deeply apologise 4 da disturbanc

********
Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 4.2

American guy named Paul challenged a filipino.

american: use my name 4 tyms n a sentence.

Pedro: PAUL , b carePAUL, u myt PAUL n da
swmmng PAUL..ahaha

********
Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 4.3

SA BAKERY
Pulubi: Palimos po ng cake.
Ale: Aba , sosyal ka ah! Namalimos ka lang, gusto mo pang cake.. eto pandesal!
Pulubi: Duh! Ate?! Bday ko kaya today?!?

********
Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 4.4

ANAK: Tay mag-ingat kayo sa DANKTRAK!.
TATAY: ano ung danktrak?
ANAK: Yunn pong trak na 10 ang gulong na karga buhangin?
TATAY: Tanga inde danktrak un…TEN MILLER!!!

********
Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 4.5

Honeymoon…
BRIDE: Kinakabahan ako. Baka di ko makaya.. Parang natatakot ako.
GROOM- Kaya mo ito. Di ba dati may alaga kang ahas?
BRIDE- Oo nga, pero takot talaga ako sa UOD!!

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tru bravery is to arrive home..

fully drunk..

a later night out..

& mom waiting with a broom in hand
then u asked, “hey mom, still cleaning?

********
Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 3.2

just wanna be an angel..

flying around u

riskin all dat i have just
to kiss u..

even if it cost my life..

-lamok

********
Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 3.3

if u reli luv me, i dare u 2 hug me
so tyt 2 mek me realize dat 8s true.

-cactus..

********
Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 3.4

i tried my best w8 4 u.

i’ve shouted too loud, stil, u didn’t even rspond
2 my call,
now u want me 2 go back?

-magtataho ngdadrama

********
Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 3.5

evrytym i feel dat nobody understands me,

it helps a lil to think of u..

cause i know.. nobody

understand u either..

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wat is “shock?”

shock is wen a guy is having sex 2 his
pregnant wife wen suddenly, little hands grab
his penis and said..”daddy! huyi ka!

********
Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 2.2

“You cannot taste me..
Unless you take of my dress”

-banana

********
Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 2.3

chinese says:

if u want 2 b lucky,

learn “FUNSOY”
if u want 2 b rich, play “PUSOY”

if u want 2 b healthy,

eat “CHOPSUY”
if u want 2 b hapi, “TXTMOKOHOY”..

********
Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 2.4

do you know how your day will become beautiful?

it is wen you start your day..

thinking of me first…lolz!

********
Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 2.5

why are condoms transparent?

So dat d sperms cud at least enjoy d scenery
of their supposedly promised land..

poor little creatures!

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It’s reli sad dat in dis world, pipol wud rather
see 2 men holdin guns, killing each othr..
Dan to see 2 men holdin hands
lovin one another,

********
Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 1.2

“If you don’t want to see me smoking..

Then you should better find a ways to make my lips busy!”

hehe..

********
Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 1.3

I was planning to kill the most
byutiful, & charming girl on earth

Den i realized shud i kill myslf?

Wat a big sin to do ds thing!

********
Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 1.4

wat s similarity between panty & sky?

sky covers d whole population..

& Panty Covers d source of population!

haha..

********
Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 1.5

a lady n a bar walks 2 d barman * puts her
finger in2 barman’s mouth.

Barman: lustly kises & lick each finger.

Lady says: Tel ur manager der’s no toilet paper!

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dis msg is strictly 4 cute
& charming person only.. since u
accidntaly recivd dis msg
i deeply apologise 4 da disturbance

American guy named Paul challenged a filipino.

Pedro: PAUL , b carePAUL, u myt PAUL n da
swmmng PAUL..ahaha

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if u reli luv me, i dare u 2 hug me
so tyt 2 mek me realize dat 8s true.

-cactus..

i tried my best w8 4 u.

-magtataho ngdadrama

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chinese says:

eat “CHOPSUY”
if u want 2 b hapi, “TXTMOKOHOY”..

just wanna be an angel..

-lamok

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“If you don’t want to see me smoking..

hehe..

wat s similarity between panty & sky?

haha..

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