Nanay: Ang lakas mo kumain pero di ka mautusan. Ang kapal mo!
Anak: Kapag yung baboy natin malakas kumain, natutuwa ka. Sino ba talaga ang anak mo, ako o ung baboy? Umayos ka nay! Wag ganun!

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Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 5.2

BF : May ibibigay akong gift sa iyo, pero hulaan mo muna!
GF: Sige, clue naman…
BF: Kailangan ito ng leeg mo.
GF: Kwintas?
BF: Hindi… PANGHILOD! SMILE!!

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Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 5.3

AMO: inday, paalisin mo nga yung pulubi sa labas ng bahay.
(nilabas ni Inday)
INDAY: off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such
unabashed display of vagrant destitution!
PULUBI: oh! I’m so ashamed! Such a mansion of social climbing freaks!
(nakakuha na ng katapat si Inday!)
NOSEBLEED!!

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Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 5.4

DOC: umubo ka!
PEDRO: ho! Ho! Ho!
DOC: ubo pa!
PEDRO: ho! Ho! Ho!
DOC: okay.
PEDRO: ano po ba sakit ko doc?
DOC: may ubo ka.

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Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 5.5

MEKANIKO: sir, hindi ko po naayos preno ng kotse niyo.
CUSTOMER: ha?! Pano yan?
MEKANIKO: nilakasan ko na lang po ang inyong busina! Happy trip na lang po!

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Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 5.6

Kung nag GAY LANGUAGE sana sila GMA at GARCI eh di walang SCAM!
GMA: hallow gracia!
GARCI: uy mother ever! Na chenilyn de kimberlyn ko na po yung mga chuva ek ek.
GMA: bonggacious! Eh yung mga chenes chenes, carry na ba?
GARCI: flatshoes! Winnie santos mama, wiz na wori eclavou na ever! Na chorva na!
GMA: ang tarushki! Maldita ka talaga vruha ka! Eh di windra na naman watashi?!
GARCI: anufi ate.
GMA: oshah ba.

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Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 5.7

Divorced father: anak pag-uwi mo bigay mo sa nanay mo itong cheke at sabihin mo 18 yrs old ka na, huling cheke na makukuha niya for child support tapos tignan mo kung ano ang expression ng face niya.
Anak: mom, sabi ni dad bigay ko daw sayo itong cheke, last support na niya ito sakin kasi 18 na ako. Pagkatapos tignan ko daw expression ng face mo.
Mom: sa susunod na pagbisita mo sa kanya paki sabi salamat sa suporta kahit di mo siya tatay! Pagkatapos tignan mo expression ng face niya!

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Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 5.8

BOY1: nakakakawa naman lola mo.
BOY2: bakit?
BOY1: nakasabay ko kasi magsimba nung isang araw, ubo ng ubo.
Pinagtitinginan nga ng tao.
BOY2: papansin lang yun!
BOY1: bakit?
BOY2: bago kasi blouse niya!

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dis msg is strictly 4 cute
& charming person only.. since u
accidntaly recivd dis msg
i deeply apologise 4 da disturbanc

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Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 4.2

American guy named Paul challenged a filipino.

american: use my name 4 tyms n a sentence.

Pedro: PAUL , b carePAUL, u myt PAUL n da
swmmng PAUL..ahaha

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Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 4.3

SA BAKERY
Pulubi: Palimos po ng cake.
Ale: Aba , sosyal ka ah! Namalimos ka lang, gusto mo pang cake.. eto pandesal!
Pulubi: Duh! Ate?! Bday ko kaya today?!?

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Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 4.4

ANAK: Tay mag-ingat kayo sa DANKTRAK!.
TATAY: ano ung danktrak?
ANAK: Yunn pong trak na 10 ang gulong na karga buhangin?
TATAY: Tanga inde danktrak un…TEN MILLER!!!

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Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 4.5

Honeymoon…
BRIDE: Kinakabahan ako. Baka di ko makaya.. Parang natatakot ako.
GROOM- Kaya mo ito. Di ba dati may alaga kang ahas?
BRIDE- Oo nga, pero takot talaga ako sa UOD!!

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tru bravery is to arrive home..

fully drunk..

a later night out..

& mom waiting with a broom in hand
then u asked, “hey mom, still cleaning?

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Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 3.2

just wanna be an angel..

flying around u

riskin all dat i have just
to kiss u..

even if it cost my life..

-lamok

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Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 3.3

if u reli luv me, i dare u 2 hug me
so tyt 2 mek me realize dat 8s true.

-cactus..

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Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 3.4

i tried my best w8 4 u.

i’ve shouted too loud, stil, u didn’t even rspond
2 my call,
now u want me 2 go back?

-magtataho ngdadrama

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Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 3.5

evrytym i feel dat nobody understands me,

it helps a lil to think of u..

cause i know.. nobody

understand u either..

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wat is “shock?”

shock is wen a guy is having sex 2 his
pregnant wife wen suddenly, little hands grab
his penis and said..”daddy! huyi ka!

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Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 2.2

“You cannot taste me..
Unless you take of my dress”

-banana

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Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 2.3

chinese says:

if u want 2 b lucky,

learn “FUNSOY”
if u want 2 b rich, play “PUSOY”

if u want 2 b healthy,

eat “CHOPSUY”
if u want 2 b hapi, “TXTMOKOHOY”..

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Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 2.4

do you know how your day will become beautiful?

it is wen you start your day..

thinking of me first…lolz!

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Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 2.5

why are condoms transparent?

So dat d sperms cud at least enjoy d scenery
of their supposedly promised land..

poor little creatures!

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It’s reli sad dat in dis world, pipol wud rather
see 2 men holdin guns, killing each othr..
Dan to see 2 men holdin hands
lovin one another,

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Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 1.2

“If you don’t want to see me smoking..

Then you should better find a ways to make my lips busy!”

hehe..

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Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 1.3

I was planning to kill the most
byutiful, & charming girl on earth

Den i realized shud i kill myslf?

Wat a big sin to do ds thing!

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Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 1.4

wat s similarity between panty & sky?

sky covers d whole population..

& Panty Covers d source of population!

haha..

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Funny Quotes Text Messages BFQ 1.5

a lady n a bar walks 2 d barman * puts her
finger in2 barman’s mouth.

Barman: lustly kises & lick each finger.

Lady says: Tel ur manager der’s no toilet paper!

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It’s important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack.
It’s also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet!

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The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2.
If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

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A girl phoned me the other day and said…”Come on over, there’s nobody home.” I went over.
Nobody was home

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Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty…
so the world needs YOU after all!

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Hi i am dying to c u,
i want to talk to u seriously,
but I cant get 2 u,
dis stupid gatekeeper is asking me 4 a ticket to enter the zoo!

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